Skinny. Smart. Unemployed. Big. Beautiful. Employed. Educated. Uneducated. Athletic. Weave. No weave. Plastic surgery. A loner. Liposuction. Sympathetic. Amputated leg. Doctor. Blind. Deaf. Salutatorian. Bartender. White. Black. Short hair. Long hair. No hair. Best friend. Artist. Asian. Empathetic. African. Poor. South American. North American. Australian. European. Rich. Nice.
All of the above describes the type of women and characteristics we may come across everyday. We judge. Sometimes we judge only with our eyes, some use their mouth. But as long as you possess the qualities you are about to read about, there is no difference between any of you. You are all women.
I do believe that every woman should strive to be educated, healthy, and independent. However, there are many circumstances that refrain a lot of us from doing this. For those who have a choice of being one of the 3 characteristics I mentioned above, and don't take advantage of that, this post is not for you. This post is not for you because there are millions out there that want to be educated but can't garner enough money, or even a cosigner to go to college. There are women out there suffering from AIDS, Diabetes, Cancer, Asthma, who can get medical attention but due to a lack of money or resources in the area where they live, they cannot. There are women who want to flee from their husbands and countries to be a free and independent woman, but cannot due to the beliefs and laws their people abide to. Once again, if you are not trying to become one of the characteristics I mentioned above, dismiss yourself from this post. I can only speak for the women who are trying to better themselves.
Brokenhearted woman, I know you hurt. I know you exist. We carry high emotions, we trust and we love far too much. Often that love and trust deteriorates after experience, bad experiences. We become broken. It feels like the end of the world because your love is real, and he obviously wasn't able to understand that being with fake bi*%hes. Yes, I know you're human, but you shouldn't have let it get this far. I have to partially blame you for two reasons: 1, you saw signs of his disloyalty and didn't take action and leave the first time, or 2, you're letting it affect you far more than you're supposed to.
I brought up the love scenario because it is too often the reason why women submit themselves into depression, accepting anything just to feel loved, and worthy. A lot of these times, these same women often are found in prostitution, drug addiction, or even worse, dead (either because of weakness or because she committed suicide). It should never get that far because no man should hold you back from being a woman. No woman should take any disrespect from a man as long as you are striving to be the best woman that you can be. If you are willingly being malevolent and unfocused on purpose, then you're bringing everything upon yourself, and all I can do is pray for you. If you are trying to become a better you and are finding obstacles, I can offer my first advice to you and that is FOCUS ON YOU.
This applies to all women, including all 20+ types I mentioned above. If you have kids or are married, you are not exempt from this. You're still a woman. Before you focus on your husband or your kids, which is natural of a woman, you need to focus on you. Being my mother's child, I learned from the best of the best. There is no way you can productively do the best for your family if you aren't healthy, strong, and independent. You need to ensure that you are strong so you know that you have the strength to carry your kids' burdens so they can have an easy childhood. That's the way it should be for parents that are unbeknownst. When you are strong, healthy, and independent, your husband/boyfriend/fiance will ALWAYS love that and believe it or not it's an attraction that appeals more than beauty. Beauty only adds to those qualities that he sees in you, it's just a plus. Once he sees that you have got everything going on for you WITHOUT his help, it's a wonderful thing. You are his trophy wife and that's not just because of your beauty.
I didn't mention educated in that last paragraph for a reason. I do realize that everyone cannot go to school because of financial reasons. This, however, does not mean that you have to abase yourself. If you have the will and ambition to get a degree, than you are just as equal to the woman holding one in her hand because you both share determination. Respect is respect, there is only one type of respect and that is the only thing you should accept from man or woman. You earn respect by either showing or trying to become a better woman, believe me. If you already have a degree, go for the degree next in line. If you haven't gotten a degree yet, don't stop trying. Never stop trying. When people see that you try, including God, you will get your degree, as long as you try. And when I say try, I mean really going out there, working hard, and trying to get yours, not just a mere attempt you tried once and then gave up. That doesn't work. In this world today, you need to go out hard if you want something because nobody wants to baby you, neither is anybody going to put a stash of bills in your hand if you don't deserve it.
When you are the strongest, most focused, and healthiest you can be, nothing should tear you down. You should accept nothing but the best. A non-Harvard student should have her standards as high as the Harvard student, nothing is different between you two because you both have a degree. I'm really trying to stress the fact that all women are equal as long as you are determined to be a woman. And a woman encompasses strength, focus, determination, happiness, which in turn will get herself her degree, her good health, her wonderful husband, her well-raised kids, her best and truest of friends.
I say this all the time to my friends and I'm going to say this again. You should not count on anybody to make you happy. You need to be happy first. When you're truly happy, anything and anyone else only ADDS to your happiness. Those things don't become your happiness because you're already happy. Men and material things are just an addition that you wouldn't mind losing because you were happy without it anyway. This is how it should be.
I am a college student. I have no degree in place yet, and no one is guaranteed a job straight out of college but I can ASSURE you that I will. Everything aforementioned that I said you should be is either what I've become or what I am still working on. My assurance is so high because my confidence is ye high. My confidence is this high because of the strength I've built up in my self through life obstacles and situations. I've set goals for myself, and each goal that I accomplish makes me aware that I am capable of doing more, without help, and that makes me happy. I have gone through the heartbreaks from past relationships, the deaths, the turn-downs for jobs and etc., and these types of things are apart of life. They are unavoidable. However, as a strong woman that is focused and pus herself first, you should be able to better endure these circumstances if or when the time comes around. Each heartbreak that you may experience should be a learning experience you keep with you, until the point where you no longer take certain bullshit from men, and only accept however high you put your standards on your thermometer. Your thermometer, to the left, where you see the bulb shoot up to 230 degrees Fahrenheit, is where your standards should be, and nothing bloodcl**t less.
Do you remember this scene from Diary of a Mad Black Woman? If you don't recall, this is at the dinner table with Helen's family. Helen tells Charles that she wants to divorce him. This is all after years of him mistreating (abusing) her, cheating on her, causes miscarriages, and then kicks her out of the house with no money, for a beautiful Latina woman, who then in return robs Charles blind and leaves him later. Charles ends up getting shot in a courtroom and Helen is the one that comes back to take care of him months and months later after he kicks her out. She thought she needed Charles when she was married to him because she never learned how to be independent. After he kicked her out, she did learn, after she thought her world was over. And when she came back to take care of him, she had already found her independence and a new man that fell in love with her because of her new-found independence and the goodness of her heart. She found herself. She became a woman that needed no man, and made herself happy before taking up another one. Charles saw this also, but before he realized how good of a woman she was and became, she already was taken by a man who deserved her more. This is my mom's favorite movie. Take heed to Helen's story.
When you put yourself first and work on becoming a better you, no one can tell you shit. No man, no girl, no boss can tell you anything that you don't already know. Believe me, when working on becoming a better you, even before you become the best that you can be, people notice the process and you glow. The men will flock to you. Your friends will adhere to you for advice. Your kids will love you and most importantly you will be in love with YOU. Your standards should always remain high, accepting nothing but the best because you deserve it. You will need no addition to your life, you'd only want it, because all of you is all you need. It's a wonderful thing. You're never too young to come to this realization. And the sooner you learn the better life will turn out for you.
For any questions/comments:
bianca_yulanda_rose@yahoo.com
twiiter.com/BiancaStar
With love, always
Xoxoxo
B
All of the above describes the type of women and characteristics we may come across everyday. We judge. Sometimes we judge only with our eyes, some use their mouth. But as long as you possess the qualities you are about to read about, there is no difference between any of you. You are all women.
I do believe that every woman should strive to be educated, healthy, and independent. However, there are many circumstances that refrain a lot of us from doing this. For those who have a choice of being one of the 3 characteristics I mentioned above, and don't take advantage of that, this post is not for you. This post is not for you because there are millions out there that want to be educated but can't garner enough money, or even a cosigner to go to college. There are women out there suffering from AIDS, Diabetes, Cancer, Asthma, who can get medical attention but due to a lack of money or resources in the area where they live, they cannot. There are women who want to flee from their husbands and countries to be a free and independent woman, but cannot due to the beliefs and laws their people abide to. Once again, if you are not trying to become one of the characteristics I mentioned above, dismiss yourself from this post. I can only speak for the women who are trying to better themselves.
Brokenhearted woman, I know you hurt. I know you exist. We carry high emotions, we trust and we love far too much. Often that love and trust deteriorates after experience, bad experiences. We become broken. It feels like the end of the world because your love is real, and he obviously wasn't able to understand that being with fake bi*%hes. Yes, I know you're human, but you shouldn't have let it get this far. I have to partially blame you for two reasons: 1, you saw signs of his disloyalty and didn't take action and leave the first time, or 2, you're letting it affect you far more than you're supposed to.
I brought up the love scenario because it is too often the reason why women submit themselves into depression, accepting anything just to feel loved, and worthy. A lot of these times, these same women often are found in prostitution, drug addiction, or even worse, dead (either because of weakness or because she committed suicide). It should never get that far because no man should hold you back from being a woman. No woman should take any disrespect from a man as long as you are striving to be the best woman that you can be. If you are willingly being malevolent and unfocused on purpose, then you're bringing everything upon yourself, and all I can do is pray for you. If you are trying to become a better you and are finding obstacles, I can offer my first advice to you and that is FOCUS ON YOU.
This applies to all women, including all 20+ types I mentioned above. If you have kids or are married, you are not exempt from this. You're still a woman. Before you focus on your husband or your kids, which is natural of a woman, you need to focus on you. Being my mother's child, I learned from the best of the best. There is no way you can productively do the best for your family if you aren't healthy, strong, and independent. You need to ensure that you are strong so you know that you have the strength to carry your kids' burdens so they can have an easy childhood. That's the way it should be for parents that are unbeknownst. When you are strong, healthy, and independent, your husband/boyfriend/fiance will ALWAYS love that and believe it or not it's an attraction that appeals more than beauty. Beauty only adds to those qualities that he sees in you, it's just a plus. Once he sees that you have got everything going on for you WITHOUT his help, it's a wonderful thing. You are his trophy wife and that's not just because of your beauty.
When you are the strongest, most focused, and healthiest you can be, nothing should tear you down. You should accept nothing but the best. A non-Harvard student should have her standards as high as the Harvard student, nothing is different between you two because you both have a degree. I'm really trying to stress the fact that all women are equal as long as you are determined to be a woman. And a woman encompasses strength, focus, determination, happiness, which in turn will get herself her degree, her good health, her wonderful husband, her well-raised kids, her best and truest of friends.
I say this all the time to my friends and I'm going to say this again. You should not count on anybody to make you happy. You need to be happy first. When you're truly happy, anything and anyone else only ADDS to your happiness. Those things don't become your happiness because you're already happy. Men and material things are just an addition that you wouldn't mind losing because you were happy without it anyway. This is how it should be.
When you put yourself first and work on becoming a better you, no one can tell you shit. No man, no girl, no boss can tell you anything that you don't already know. Believe me, when working on becoming a better you, even before you become the best that you can be, people notice the process and you glow. The men will flock to you. Your friends will adhere to you for advice. Your kids will love you and most importantly you will be in love with YOU. Your standards should always remain high, accepting nothing but the best because you deserve it. You will need no addition to your life, you'd only want it, because all of you is all you need. It's a wonderful thing. You're never too young to come to this realization. And the sooner you learn the better life will turn out for you.
For any questions/comments:
bianca_yulanda_rose@yahoo.com
twiiter.com/BiancaStar
With love, always
Xoxoxo
B
