Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Independent Woman

Independence makes a woman beautiful. They do not need to exhibit perfect beauty, if there's such a thing, on the outside to be a beautiful, independent woman.

There's one thing every wise woman knows and that's with age comes experience, which is an adage made into a beautiful word called wisdom. You constantly get better at skills that you have already honed, whether it is writing, dancing, singing, exercising, a sport, cooking, cleaning, anything--including being independent. Wisdom interplays in a female's life in more than one way: whether it's your kids, relationships, your career--whatever they are, you continue to learn from them, therefore learning how to avoid or handle any troubles one of them may bring. An independent woman uses wisdom and her hard work ethic to easily bypass troubles and move on much easier than the average woman would (when I say "uses wisdom" I mean ACTUALLY utilizing it--learning from past mistakes).

There are qualities of an independent woman that make her stand out from all of the rest. An independent woman stands out anywhere she is. You can feel the air as she walks pass you. Her aroma can be smelt. Her approach on things are acute. Her voice is heard. All eyes are ON HER. An independent woman senses bullshit from afar, and knows how to push bullshit easily aside. She KNOWS what she wants and she's going after it. She prioritizes her life, making day to day schedules on things that need to be done, that all is ultimately leading up to an important goal she has set for herself. Her toes are pedicured, her hands are manicured, her hair is presentable, and if on some days these aren't as so, she has been too busy but SURELY puts it on her "to-do" list by the end of the week. She keeps herself in shape, she makes sure she is healthy. She is always on the go, and even if it's just in a pair of sweats and a beater, you still know who she is and she looks just as good as if she was wearing a Balenciaga stunner dress. She is ABOUT things, she yearns to make moves. Sometimes, she does most things in privacy in fear of people just being extra baggage, lagging behind her, keeping her from going where she wants to go or slowing her down, while she is trying to make moves (you get my flow?), whether that's: running errands, going to the hair dresser, visiting the nail salon, shopping, even going to the club or out to eat by herself every now and then to treat herself.

How do I know these things you ask? I believe I possess these same qualities. I learned from the model figures around me. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be able to tell you any of these because I don't watch people enough to be speaking like this. I am not speaking from anyone's experiences except mines, I wouldn't have a right to do so. I am only 19 years old but with incredible (not necessarily meaning on the positive side) experiences from early ages in life, I have become independent. Not every young woman, as I, become independent this early in life, but it does happen in specific cases. I have acquired a strong sense of self, which was forced to enhance my common sense. In simpler words, I have been through things that the average teenager doesn't go through. Of course, these experiences only add to the wonderful teachings my parents have instilled in me from a youth, like respect. Respect was always something that I had to show and demanded to be shown to me. The one quality and God-giving gift that every independent woman has and wants is respect.

Respect is a serious thing for ladies, especially when you look at where we ladies come from. Look at the whole era of feminism. For CENTURIES, women have been fighting to become equal amongst men. We have fought emotionally and physically (physically being displayed in the famous bra-burning movement, and I'm particularly talking about the 60s when fashion was beginning to change). We have been fighting to be looked at and possess the capabilities just as men do, because we felt we deserved it (which we do). We have come a long way and we are finally here! But don't be fooled, nowadays a lady still has to fight for respect, she doesn't automatically get it. An independent woman just doesn't turn into one overnight. There is a good chance she had to fight for the respect she has as an independent woman. She went through experiences, negative and positive to earn her respect from both women and men. An independent woman is undoubtedly respected and she will have nothing short of respect. She doesn't even have to say anything, just watch her movements, and you know she demands it. She demands it for a reason, every independent woman has worked hard, whether it's getting that degree from college, starting her own business, or working diligently to own her first property. She has worked hard and deserves respect for a reason.

An independent woman should not be looked on as a mean woman. She donates to charities, does good things for people, even if it's dropping a coin in a bum's Dunkin Donuts cup every now and then. You usually only see the "rougher" side of an independent woman when she is trying to get down to business, or when she is demanding respect. I know I'm a nice person, aside from business.

An independent woman should not be looked on one who is afraid to love, or who doesn't have a man of her own. She just wants to makes sure that along with having a man to call her own, she always has something else to call her own (whether that be a Bachelor's degree, an -in-the-making goal, or even the possession of her own house and car). Why do I say this? Because when (or if) that man is no more or decides to get out of his place and attempt to call her out on how HE'S always doing the work or decides to leave, she always has something to look forward to (like her goals) and to call her own, to keep him in check and let him know what it is (you feeling me ladies?)! She doesn't take things like this too seriously because there are ALWAYS other things to worry about. An independent woman displays that she doesn't need a man, he's just there for personal pleasure. Everyone knows that love is a wonderful thing, and no one should be opted out of enjoying and sharing the feeling.

To end this, I recommend my readers reading two books. One that I have read a few years ago and one I have just finished reading today. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and The Vixen Manual by Karrine Steffans. Both women have different lives and were reared with different upbringings. Both are noteworthy figures today in the media for what I would rather say different reasons, two completely different people. But! Both books are what you can say are autobiographies that teaches lessons. Both women, because of wisdom, have turned into a bigger and better person person than they were before. Both have transformed into the independent woman.

I will be updating this entry or adding new entries related to this post as I grow older and achieve my own wisdom. My writing will be enhanced as the days go by, and I will bring new things to my readers that I progressively accumulate and learn throughout the time here on Earth God blesses me with. Do look forward.

                                      Destiny's Child - Independent Women Pt.1


  1. Bianca, you should write a book on the struggle of women throughout the world. I can completely identify with the fight women everywhere face to be respected. After your book, would you want to coordinate a program to give young women English language education in lower class areas? You totally would've benefited from that shit.

  2. I'd love to do that, but in order for me to do that, I need time, financial assistance, and valuable experience from other women who have really struggled. Your ideas seem awesome, I'd love to, but unfortunately these types of things takes a lot more time to plan, and lots of money to fund. But hey you never know, contact me via email and let's talk more about it: bianca_yulanda_rose@yahoo.com

  3. I love this I am 19 years old single mother had my son at 16 I understand exactly what this all means check me out on Facebook Adrienne Antonio my pic is me n my son

  4. I'm glad you can relate. You and your son are beautiful! Lots of love. <3